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Every person wants to have a happy family in this life. This happiness is directly related to the effect that the faith in Allah has on the family. Because faith is a light. It enlightens the family life just as it enlightens everything. It causes the intended beauties to appear in the family. It results in “living family life in the best way”.
Man is not just a physical body. However, it also has spiritual feelings such as love, respect and compassion. These feelings find meaning and increase in value with the light of faith.
The spouses in the family know that, by the influence of faith, they will be together not only in the world but also in the eternal life in a beautiful realm. For this reason, they seriously help one another in mutual respect, love, loyalty and sacrifice. When they are in need of each other, especially when they grow old, they make every sacrifice with this beautiful thought they receive from faith.
Love of your child is one of [the causes of] the most pleasant happiness in the world. By means of faith, Muslims see their children as gifts from Allah. They see their children as Divine trust and try to protect them from evils. They embrace them with compassion and mercy. They want to raise their children in accordance with the requirements of the religion, considering the continuation of the family’s unity in eternal life. With compassion coming from faith, a Muslim mother endures all kinds of troubles for the happiness of her child in this world and the hereafter.
With the lesson of faith, children see their parents as treasures, keep their hearts pleasant and do not fail in respect for them.
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:A person came to Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and asked, “Who among people is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (pbuh) said, “Your mother”. He again asked, ”Who next?” “Your mother”, the Prophet (pbuh) replied again. He asked, “Who next?” He (the Prophet (pbuh)) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” Thereupon he (pbuh) said,” Then your father.” – In another narration: “O Messenger of Allah! Who is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (pbuh) said, “Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then your nearest, then nearest”. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
With this Hadith, our beloved Prophet (pbuh) drew our attention to respecting and being nice to our parents.
When family life is enlightened by faith, relationships between family members develop and become more beautiful. Individuals try to act not only by considering the worldly life, but by thinking of an eternal union in an eternal life. Pity, compassion, love and respect are truly seen in the family. The level of morality is high in the family. And this results in living the family life in the best way.
It is stated in the Quran “There is indeed a good example for you in the Messenger of Allah.” (33:21) Our Prophet is the best example for us in family life, as in every other matter. All members of the family enlighten both their individual lives and their family lives by taking the Prophet (pbuh) as an example and following his Sunnah. In this regard, our beloved Prophet (pbuh) said the following in some Hadith: “The best of you is the one who is good to his family. And I am the best of you who is good to his family.” (Kanzu’l-Ummal) “The most perfect of believers in terms of faith are the most beautiful in terms of morality; and the best of them are the ones who treat family members in the best way.” (Musnad) He thus expressed the importance of the matter with these words.
Peace and happiness in family life is directly related to faith. Just as a lamp illuminates its surroundings and causes the beauties around to appear, likewise, faith is a light, and it enlightens family life. That is, it leads to the emergence of good morals in the family. Thus, faith results in the happiness of family life that forms the basis of society.
How should communication in the family be?
Human being is social and civilized by creation. He cannot live alone in the world. He needs to live with people. He needs to communicate with them in order to meet both his own needs and those of others. While communicating, he should value others. He witnesses that his own feelings are also valued as he values others. In this way, unlike other beings, human being gains an important privilege in meeting his material and spiritual needs.
Communication is the reflection of emotions on actions. Every person wants their own feelings and thoughts to be respected. For people, this common desire is the main source of communication. A person who lives only for his own personal world sees the demands of others as unnecessary. And this is a sign of selfishness. He who loves and likes only himself does not love or like someone else. Anyone who does not love or like others does not need communication with them.
The most important place where a person needs communication is his family. Communication is the foundation for the family; it is like a yeast. Correct communication in family life is of great importance for the happiness and peace of the family. The continuation of family life depends on the healthy communication between the individuals. Families with communication problems cannot be happy.
Allah Almighty ordered that the dealings between husband and wife in family communication be as follows: “Live with them (your women) in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (4:19)
It is a very healthy decision for communication to think that Allah has intended many good things in the events you go through. The proverb “People understand each other by talking.” emphasizes that communication would be healthy within the framework of mutual understanding.
Allah (swt) has ordered family members to have good morals. And our beloved Prophet said, “The most perfect of believers in terms of faith are the most beautiful in terms of morality; and the best of them are the ones who treat family members in the best way.” (Musnad) Thus he drew attention to the holiness of communication within the family. It is also our beloved Prophet who applied this communication in the healthiest way. Our Prophet acted according to the situations of his family members. He paid attention to the rights of his spouses in the family and treated children in a level befitting them. This behaviour of him made it easier for him to communicate with the members of his family.
Our Prophet rapidly turned an ignorant society, which was stubborn and strictly adhering to its customs, into a civilized society. He caused society to acquire a high morality. He has become a lover of hearts, a teacher of minds, and a trainer of people. He became the sultan of all people. Undoubtedly, one of the things that brought him this happiness was his correct use of the secrets of communication.
So, how should we ensure this communication between family members?
We can list the reasons for communication within the family, provided that Allah’s good pleasure is the main purpose, as follows:
1- Developing positive communication (thinking) in the family
2- Acting with a sense of patience in family communication
3- Respecting the elders and showing mercy to the little ones
4- Developing a sense of loyalty in the family
5- Being generous in appreciating and complimenting
6- To act with the idea that “whoever looks positively thinks positively and whoever thinks positively gets pleasure from his life.”
7- Having the idea of “look at the bright side of things”
8- Instead of offending family members with direct [criticism] words, establishing a common point (acting with the sense of “us”)
9- Starting from your own self in sacrifice
10- Wanting for family members what you want for yourself
In conclusion; communication is speaking in the language of emotions. Communication is a key. The power to solve all problems is hidden in it.
In short: The source of happiness, love and peace in the family is through a strong and correct communication.