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On a beautiful evening, I took the opportunity to take a break with the kids from the usual life’s hustle and bustle and enjoy the peaceful sights with them in the playground. As I sat down on rusty bench to enjoy the beautiful evening, my mind wandered and wondered, scanning through the whole playground observing what was going on, the kids and their parents which led to the discovery of the selected title this time. Glad to see the children’s excitement trying out various kinds of games, the cries and the affectionate shouts of parents who always want their children to be safe. Lucky children you are! I could see the apparent anxiety on the faces of parents when their children tried to climb and jump. The concern is understandable. Likewise, I’m worried if my kids fall or get hurt. Meanwhile at another corner of the playground I saw a loving mother was doing her best to encourage and supporting her child to try the same game as my child, MashaAllah, so positive, there was no fear or worry on her face, the important thing was she wanted her child to try, to fight the fear and her child finally succeeded. I was very proud of her spirit.
Indeed Allah will give wisdom and lesson to anyone who seeks it. No matter where it is, if we use all our minds and senses to find Him surely He will show us the way. The situation I saw in the playground really made me thinking, what our role as parents really are in educating our children. Are the prejudices and concerns we’ve been showing for the safety of our children good for them? Or in fact we should hide our worries or concerns and give them our positive supports and freedom for them to explore and discover their world.
Dear readers, I remember a story which I have read about perception and prejudice. The perceptions and prejudices can be likened to the situation of two young men who enter into a same place. One of them is a proud and arrogant person and sees goodness in himself and for him he does not need anyone else. Meanwhile the second person is a humble person and always wants to learn from his surroundings. These two men went into the same place but the first person saw the place full of misery and suffering, he was so unhappy to be there. While the second man saw the place full of goodness and joy. Even though they entered into the same place, the reality of their perceptions affected the way they saw the place they went.
If the story is applied into the perspectives of children and parents, children are like a second person who is eager to learn something new, they want to try everything and be happy with the environment. However, the condition of their parents is like the first person and with the existing experiences that we have, we think and feel that the situation needs to be carefully observed and monitored because it is dangerous to the children, not to mention the fact that there are parents among us who are stressful by being in the playground because we are too protective and want to make sure that our children are always safe according to our own perspectives.
Dear readers, after observing this, for me the action of the mother who kept her worries and concerns inside her by supporting her child was a good act. To understand the children and support their growth we must look at the world from their perspective. With that, we will understand their desires and we are able to give the desired and necessary encouragement in their self-development. We must provide the necessary space for them to learn and appreciate their lives as long as they reap the benefits from it. I do not mean that we should just let them do anything they want freely, as a matter of fact, if all of us together look at things from their perspectives, we will have more time with them as the ones who give them encouragement and supports that they need. It is not forbidding without reasons or making up negative stories with the intentions to scare the children to do something or to avoid going to a place. I believe by giving space we can closely see the potential of our children and then we can provide the appropriate guidance and advice to them.
Too worried or too protective will only immerse the potential of the child. They would be afraid of the environment or become rebellious. These two things will disrupt their self-development. The lesson in Allah’s warning towards Rasullullah which we must take is: Surely not you who give guidance, but I am the One Who will give it to whom I want. This reprimand shows that our role on this earth is to provide advice and guidance to our children, and at the end of the day, we are not the ones who decide the results. So, we should just do the work of the Messenger of Allah to preach in a way that suits our children, pray and fully submit to Him because all the provisions are in His hand.